when you type your password in thinking its wrong but turns out to be correct
dude selling something on pawn stars: i was thinking 500 dollars
rick: ill give ya 5 bucks i aint going any higher
dude selling something on pawn stars: thats ridiculous… deal. *5 minutes later* well i didnt get what i wanted but im pretty happy with what i left with today
"Your dress is too short."
Thanks, the designer used your dick for inspiration.
OH MYG OD
Anonymous said: One of the saddest and most hil- NO BITCH, the sad thing here is the fact that you're a stripper. If you want respect, maybe you should've graduated high school. 😂😂 when did stripping become a legitimate career?
Awww, you tried so hard, but unfortunately I can’t hear you over the sound of my debt-free college degree and massive disposable income.
100% true horoscope facts
aries: sexually frustrated at everything
taurus: really nice but dead inside
gemini: mostly just hungry
cancer: in the closet but not really
leo: super gay for everyone
virgo: promises not to tell and then tells everyone
libra: lazy assholes like seriously do something with your life
scorpio: i’ve never met one but they’re all jerks
sagittarius: always boning your mom
capricorn: loves everyone but loves themselves more
aquarius: never not killing you
pisces: big booty bitches